Got a date for pre prep course

Finally got date - was expecting "new year" and got April 2013 !!! Ages to go - at least house be ready by then.

Down under doing the same

No real news about the process here - other than drags on!

Had a bit of a shock when m2 visiting - she saw the envelope with children services written on which had the report in and immediately wanted to know if about her - not sure we handled it massively well as couldn't reassure her by telling truth - will need to be more careful next time - or have a cover story prepared.

Have had some good news though

Aunt and uncle down under just starting to look into doing the same - adopting their side - completely different process but what so cool is our smallest ones will have adopted cousins - making adoption all very normal in the f family.

On the less cool side is how often am being told now adopting more likely to get pregnant !!! As if doing this as distraction until a biological baby- how can I convince doubters that bringing up a lost soul is more appealing than my own - feels like they will be more valuable !

Finished the book and putting into practice

Have finished 'connected child' and found it a revelation - so much made sense particularly about putting into trust bank before start correcting and making sure spend quality time rather than sending to various electronic stuff - pc iPod laptop tv wii ds etc !!!

M not yet finished his and already had heated discussion about whether guidance or reference - he concerned I will follow like gospel I concerned he won't.

M2 now staying up for wedding and we got chance to put into practice and to be honest m learnt loads more than me - feel like I reverting to authoritative stern parent and have to make real effort to explain be clear and find positives in m2 behaviour.

Sure have a lot to learn - luckily got lots of time.

Reading the book

Ordered two copies of Connected Child for m and I. Arrived and been reading. Have discovered many things but biggest thing is that Adopting kids will be good for me - I'm going to have to become a much better person - more patient - more reflective - more aware .

Told mum how good book is so she getting one.

First home visit

On Tuesday morning we met Kay our assessing social worker for the first time York and she interviewed us and checked out your potential bedroom.

The interview wasn't as thorough as I had thought might be - but it did pretty much touch on everything including our finances our past significant relationships and why they ended and why we wanted to adopt.

It took over two hours and I made clear that the biggest benefit to me was the certainty and that would need kay to tell us if we didn't pass any stage.

Was a bit worried when she explained about contact mostly because don't want you to get any hateful post or be in a difficult situation every year. Kay explained that she would totally make sure ok and stop anything bad happening. She also told us about some examples where it had worked and where and when the social workers jump in.

Rather brilliantly Kay thinks we are very straightforward and that her biggest challenge is documenting our vast extended support network and that we can go to the next stage.

We had all hoped there would be room in the October preparation course but sadly we were pipped by another couple and instead more likely to go in January - december if we lucky !

M is as excited and pleased we through - ridiculous that we thought otherwise as both so very normal why wouldn't we ?

Was asked to do some homework by writing out our family trees and networks and read a book - also asked to think about happy childhood memories and ones that make us uncomfortable - which uncovered lots of buried stuff about never measuring up to the ideal daughter (Christine French!) - sure have learnt pushing kids to achieve might make them grow up successful but at what cost ? M perfect for me as doesn't expect me to be anything other than me !

Preparing for our first interview

Had telephone call today from Kay our social worker who was arranging our first interview / home visit.

Going to take place next tues which is earliest can both get time off work.

V nervous and hope will have time to clean with hen this weekend.

Also wrote note to myself in work notebook with at least three colleagues noticing

The waiting game part one

Been nearly ten days since open evening - we sent back our 'still interested' form the next day and have had a letter with more handouts telling us we will be contacted in a few weeks to arrange an interview.

Meanwhile we've lined up all possible references and the family so they are prepared and ready to make any appointments. However slow this goes we don't want it to drag because our side wasn't available.

So now it's about a week since the letter and already the waiting is painful mostly because we know we can't speed along even if phoned everyday and generally made a nuisance of ourselves.

Now our friends and family know their initial reaction is interesting. The more some tell me not to give up hope for one of our own or it's early days could still happen if now focused on something else , the more convinced I am that we are doing the right thing - this isn't some poor substitute for a M/C gene pool, this or these adopted children are because we totally want to be able to share our life with a little person who would have less chance without us. We don't need to introduce another new life into the world, there are so many lost little souls who I am convinced with our patience and energy we'll be able to give them some hope, stability and love that will mean they aren't any longer held back by their start and instead can be whatever they like in the future.